Without My Shining Star
by Branmuffinpower
Summary: Takes place during "How Long is Forever" The story of what happened during those twenty years that Starfire disappeared. How do each of the Titans take it? Pairings will be obvious after reading first two chapters. Please R&R!
1. Prologue

How Long Is Forever

The Teen Titans without Starfire

Prologue: (Robin's Point of View)

"We're not gonna drift apart, Star. I promise. We'll all be friends forever."

"Forever?" she asked, her bright green eyes shined with hope. Her eyes. I could never get enough of those sparkling emerald eyes. It almost made me shiver with delight. I suppose I have rather a weak spot there, but to get back to the point, I don't think I had ever seen Starfire like this, so worried about our friendship. Actually there was one other time. I remember when she first found I had been working for Slade, she was devastated and that look she gave me tore me inside out, knowing I was doing at her. And to think I almost fired at her. I almost fired at Starfire. And now she was worried that something was going to break up our friendship. _The Rekmas, _she called it. I wanted reassure her by putting my hand on her shoulder as I always did and really saying it with meaning. I wanted to tell her I'd be there for her forever, but my communicator began to sound.

"Titans! GO!" I instructed to them. The other Titans looked alert, Raven leapt off her feet and levitated towards the exit, Beast Boy morphed into a green cheetah and Cyborg, well Cyborg just ran while I checked my communicator. A villain named Warp was trying to steal an antique clock, the Clock of Eternity. Oh great…another one.

For as long as I had been fighting bad guys and villains, there were always guys who just wanted to steal. It's not even like they were even evil or anything…they were just selfish. And that angered me. A lot of things did. I was angry, something no youth should be. Just, too many things angered me, number one being Slade. I hated the constant bickering between Beast Boy and Cyborg and I wish Raven wasn't always so depressing and unsociable. In fact, the only person I never had a problem with was Starfire.

Of course, I had to explain a lot of things to her but in all honestly I didn't mind. In fact I often found it amusing to hear her interpretations on Earthly customs. If everyone was like Starfire I can guarantee the world would be a better place. Not that I want Cyborg, Beast Boy or Raven to change. I'm just saying. Starfire has to be the nicest person I've ever meant, and seeing her upset as I did now upset me myself.

The thing about Starfire was she was naïve, innocent. Completely untainted with the badness of the modern world. She was completely unlike any other people I have met, cynical and depressing. But Starfire, Starfire loved everyone. Something no human could possibly do. Especially myself. Starfire was an exceptional person though. Not only beautiful, but loving, and sweet and she was a damn fine titan. Oh the things there is to say about Starfire. But now is not the time for me to ramble.

We had to hurry before this guy got that clock. I began to run towards the exit, my yellow and black cape swaying behind me as I ran. I could tell Starfire was still there and she appeared to be deep in thought, saddened maybe? Perhaps she still didn't believe we'd all be friends forever. Perhaps she thought she'd lose us all. Well, she'd never lose me. Unfortunately I didn't have time to tell her that because she came to her senses and flew into the air and right by me to stop the villainous crime being executed.

"I didn't travel back in time one hundred years to squabble, I came to steal the Clock of Eternity. Valuable in the past, priceless in the future." I threw one of my electron disks at the feet of man from the future, which knocked him back on his feet.

"But for the present, you'll keep your filthy hands off it!" I said with malice, anger rising in me for that lack of justice and morals in this city today. I was perched on the railing of the old museum as I looked down at Warp. Warp a man of about thirty or forty I'd say. He had an oddly shaped black beard and an equally odd costume. It was golden casing around his upper body that stopped at the shoulders and thighs. On his head he had a circular disk similar to the one in the center of his chest. Underneath his Gold plate he had a black body suit and gold cuff links. His voice was rather annoying as well, almost like Gizmo's only a lower in tone.

"The Teen Titans. This is a treat. I've read about you in historical archives. As for now…you're history!" The villain known as Warp shifted his body and aimed his cannons that were positioned on his shoulders at us at several beams of red light bolted towards us and hit the railing we had been previously resting upon.

"Titans! GO!" I commanded as usual as we all jumped from the railing and split up then, each using our own tactics. I pulled out my bo-staff, ready to fight, spinning it around a few time for good measure. Suddenly something darted towards me, emitting from Warp. I bent backwards to avoid the blow, however it split my staff in half.

As I issued an anguished cry and my broken staff, I could see Starfire flying and Beast Boy racing towards him. Star had lime green beams coming from her hands that were aimed at the ground as Beast Boy promptly transformed in a green lion. Star pulled back her fists and flung a few Starbolts at Warp. He moved his arm in front of him, and blocked the bolts, so that they came speeding towards Star. She put her hand up to her face, however she was jetted backwards by her own powers and onto the floor.

Beast Boy savagely lunged for him, but Warp dodged his attack. Promptly Warp turned around as the green lion made another attempt to knock him over. This time however Warp stuck out his arm, in which a tiny weapon popped out of his cuff link. The weapon fired a sort of shocking effect on Beast Boy, and made the King of the Forest fall in battle.

Raven tried her luck at the villain as well. She levitated into the air hurriedly. Her long blue cloak rippled against the air, giving it a deathly look to it.

"Azareth….Metrion….XINTHOS!" she shouted the last part as two pieces of wooden furniture flew into the air, their outlines, white in an abyss of dark and hurtled towards Warp. He merely stuck his hands out and the two heavy object crashed to the ground. I could tell Raven was slightly taken back by that. In a moments notice he bent his head down and a jet of blue light came streaming towards Raven, from the circular disk on his head.

She yelled in fury as the light hit her, and she was thrown backwards onto the floor similarly to Starfire. Cyborg then leapt into action, his arm now his sonic cannon. He aimed directly at Warp and fired. The blue beam appeared to have hit Warp directly, however smoke issued from the impact.

"BOO-YAH!" Cyborg yelled in triumph. However his victory was short-lived when the smoke-cleared. "Huh?" was how Cyborg reacted to the force field that was surrounding Warp now. As the shield went down Warp reached into his belt to pull out another toy. He flung it at Cyborg, and it hit Cyborg right in the center of his metallic chest. It appeared to be tiny dial and immediately the hand on it turned upwards. Without warning, flashed of light surrounded Cyborg, as he tried closed his eyes in obvious pain.

"Drainin'…my power cell," he managed to get out, as he held his sides and bent over onto the cement of the floor.

"You can not defeat Warp, I am from the future," the villain said to us, his hand raised high above his head in victory it seemed. He pulled out some devices from his belt, similar to my electron disks and hurled them in my direction. I began racing towards him, disks of my own ready. I could feel anger swelling in my chest as I threw them, with accuracy at warp's disks. The disks he had used blew up my own and one remained and came flying towards myself and Starfire. We both leapt out of the way as the disk hit the wall of the museum and exploded on a nearby window.

"And you relics are one-hundred years out of date," he reached his hand for the Clock of Eternity. It was a rounded gold structure with a tiny clock at the top of it and a pendulum inside it. His hand evaporated through the glass that kept the Clock of Eternity inside of it and he grasped a hold of it. With that it turned a shade of light blue as he pulled it through the glass. He then turned around and pressed the centered disk on his chest. A beam of white light exited from it and created a black vortex with a glowing blue light surrounding it.

"Ta ta Titans. I have enjoyed out time together, but I've got a very bright future ahead of me." I glanced over at Starfire for a moment. She was in a crouched position, watching him intently. She seemed mad, upset. Her eyes glowed green with righteous fury. She bolted upright, her fist clenched and raced towards him as he began stepping into the portal. He glanced back at her, hearing her angered growl and became startled. She was heading straight towards him. Upon seeing this I jumped up right so I could stop her before she went through, however she was too quick. She flew into him with such intensity and pushed him into the portal. As I leapt forward to grab one of her feet it disappeared and I fell to the ground, doing a somersault to break my fall.

"STARFIRE!" I screamed, fear rising in my throat. I rose to my feet and looked around. My breathing had gotten heavy and intense as my eyes fruitlessly scanned around for her.

"Dude, where'd she go?" Beast Boy said, in his now human form. He was standing next to Cyborg, who had savagely ripped off the little dial from his chest and threw it to the ground. Raven was also standing now, her blue hood over her head as she casually glanced around the room.

"Quick!" I said running past them, my eyes still checking every dark spot in the room. "We have to find Starfire! NOW! We have to do something, ANYTHING! Just - " I turned around and they were standing there, looking bewildered. Raven had an expressionless face on now as though she was going to say something to make everyone annoyed because she was right.

"She's not here, Robin," she said, as though she didn't even care. "We should not waste our efforts looking for her." Raven crossed her arms across her chest and looked bored. I could feel myself getting angry at her. I don't care if Raven had to control her emotions, she could at least TRY to be worried about Star. All she could do was tell me that their was no way to save her, like she didn't care if Star disappeared forever. How could Raven be so…_heartless_ all the time?

I narrowed my eyes at Raven, to show her I was getting annoyed now. Of course she did seem the least bit intimidated. That was Raven, I knew it. But I was tired of it.

"You don't even sound worried." I said, my voice quiet. Then I couldn't hold it back any longer. "STARFIRE IS OUR FRIEND! _YOUR_ FRIEND! And all you can say is we shouldn't waste our time looking for her. What is your problem Raven? If Star was in your place she'd be worried sick! How can you just stand there and be so cruel?" Raven glanced at me, her mouth very thin as though she was fighting the urge to yell at me. I didn't care if she yelled. She was wrong, wrong as anything. No one could convince me otherwise.

"You have to calm down Robin. I never said I didn't care about Starfire. What I did say was there is no way we can find her, she's traveling through time. There's nothing we can do but wait," Raven said, taking a few steps toward me. Ok, maybe I was wrong. But still, I felt we had to do something. But I couldn't think of what.

I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of life without Starfire. She was addictive, once you met her, you never wanted to let her go. Her hair, her laugh, her eyes. Everything about her just – made life worth living. I suppose I sound like some love-sick hormone driven teenager, but something inside me says it's something more. Like maybe I – I don't know. Perhaps I'm just psychotic.

I dropped to the floor, and buried my face in my hands. My crouched form leaned up against the wall, as I murmured her name to myself. I wanted to cry, I had to, but in front of my team. I just couldn't do that. I had to suck it up. But my strength had left me completely. I felt powerless. My one weakness had been exploited. But I had to be strong. For my team, for Star. I had to be strong.

Footsteps approached me. I hastily wiped the small tears that were waiting to come out away. I stood up quickly, with my back still to them. I had my head held up high to show I was still strong, I was still their leader. I felt two hands rest on my shoulder. I could tell, one was Cyborg's and the other was Beast Boy's.

"Dude," Beast Boy said to me. "It'll be ok, she'll be back. Don't worry about her. She a tough girl." But it was not Star I was worried about. I was worried about myself. I might completely fall apart without her. But I nodded in reply to him.

"Come on now ya'll," Cyborg said. "Let's go home." I shakily took a step forward as my two friends pushed me along, followed by Raven who was silent. We reached the exit, and I held my breath. I forced myself to look back, at the last place I had seen Star.

And then…I could no longer hold the tears back.

It's rather degrading for a boy, a man of my stature to cry. But there's only so much one can take. And I let it go, everything. Wailing like a crazy man, as if my purpose in life was gone. I let it all out. Beast Boy, Cyborg and Raven tried to keep me under control, said things like, "Robin, calm down," "Robin, it'll be all right, man" "Dude Robin, you're like crying," but the tears kept coming. Why was I effected like this and they weren't? Why wasn't I strong like I usually was? Why could Starfire's absence make me fall, make me cry, and die inside?

I don't know…but there's something about her. Something I'll never forget. I felt it every time I heard her name, saw her, heard her. But I didn't know what it was. It's something I've never felt for another person, another friend. Friend…

Star was like no person I'd ever met. And now she was gone. And there was nothing I could do about it.

Author's Note: Well the prologue was short I know. But the rest will be longer. Anyways, this is my first Teen Titans fic and I hope you enjoyed the prologue of it. :D By the way, I found it difficult to write Robin, since he's all like angesty and serious. Whoa nelly! He's an angry boy. I also had trouble with it since you know he's a boy in love and all. It's pretty tough, well for me anyways. Some writers have no trouble with it. Anyway, I just really wanted to write this story since I've seen "How long is Forever?" and I'm glad I finally got the prologue done. And by the way, this is taken directly from the episode. :D


	2. Fallen Star: Robin's Anguish

Chapter One: (Robin's Point of View)

Fallen Star: Part I (Robin's Anguish)

It was a long way home. The paved road seemed endless, like I'd be riding that road forever looking for Starfire. It seemed every moment I wanted to look back and see her there, soaring above me, Raven closely behind. But she wasn't. And I had no idea when or even if that would ever happen again. It was disheartening. A few times I considered driving my motorcycle off the road and crashing into something. But I wouldn't leave my team. They needed me. And the city needed us.

Cold air rushed through my black hair as I sped down the road. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Cyborg in his T-Car. Raven was inside in the passenger's seat. Beast Boy was in the back, clearly too tired to fly back. Perhaps he was upset as I was. However none of the titans showed it. They couldn't, they wouldn't. I knew I had to be strong like they were. It's what Star would have wanted. She would not have liked me to cry over her like an over-grown baby. I imagined what she's say to me. "Robin, you must not cry. I am unharmed. Please Robin, you must go about your job. Please do not worry for me Robin." I grinned thinking of her voice. It was like music to my ears. I smiled against the wind thinking of all the times we had together.

I remember after we had defeated Slade, Star and I had a moment. She was upset with herself, which bewildered me. How could she be upset with herself when I was the one working for a mad-man and hurting her and the rest of the titans. She said to me, "There was a moment I truly believed you were like Slade, evil. And for that I am sorry." I was happy she didn't blame me, but somewhat unhappy that she blamed herself. I remember telling her the difference between Slade and I, before we heard Cyborg and Beast Boy arguing about tofu waffles. I think I would have held her hand, to reassure her that she was not to blame, but it appeared the other titans' bickering ruined the moment.

I wonder what Star would think about my pondering about her. Knowing her she'd think all friends thought about their friends like this. And then she'd wonder why she didn't. "Robin! I am overjoyed you that you think I am a satisfactory friend! Shall I ponder of you in my spare time in return to show my gratitude?" she'd say. Of course she didn't know I have never elaborated much on Cyborg, Raven or Beast Boy. And I doubted she thought about me. Wow…that one hurt.

Why did I think about her so much? I mean, she was supposed to be my friend. Like all the titans, yet I found myself thinking about her in my spare time. And it isn't a recent thing either. I remember when the Titans began, the first time I saw her…something happened. But what is was I can't put my finger on.

I slowed to a stop in my parking space below Titans Tower. Cyborg parked his car in the spot adjacent to my motorcycle. I didn't get off right away. For a moment I took a breather to reflect on what had happened to me in the last hour. I heard the car doors opening and Raven, Beast Boy and Cyborg exited the vehicle. I felt their eyes upon me. I looked back and met their solemn expressions. The looks they gave me suggested something like, "Get a grip Robin."

A noise, a grunt escaped me as I turned my head back around and got off the bike. I walked away my back to them and my arms folded. Right now, I needed to be alone. I needed...well I really needed Starfire, but at the moment that was impossible. My walk broke into a run as I headed towards the elevator so it could take me to the top floor, to my room. That was I could just brood in peace. Just before I reached the elevator doors three figures appeared in front of me. Cyborg in the middle, Beast Boy to his right and Raven to his left. They had their arms folded and they were glaring at me.

"Man, Robin we know you're havin' issues. But stop getting angry at us! We all miss Starfire, but there's nothin' we can do about it so chill!" Cyborg shouted at me, taking a step forward.

"You don't understand!" I yelled at once. "I'm upset because – because you guys don't even seem to care, it's like…I dunno. It's like you don't even care about her. Why am I the only one feeling like this?" I said putting my hands to my head in frustration. I was beginning to have the most splitting headache, voices jumbled inside my head, and everything I was feeling screamed in my brain louder than anything I've ever heard.

"Robin, dude are you feelin' ok?" Beast Boy said approaching me. But my head was too full for me to answer. All I could do was groan, in pain and annoyance. Why was this happening to me? I could hear every word Starfire had said to me, I could hear people say her name, I could hear everything and it was painful. I fell to the floor wracked with sobs. I just wanted everything to go away. But it wouldn't. It was taunting me.

"STOP!" I screamed in hopes it would all go away, but it only made them louder. I'll bet the rest of Titans were pretty scared right about now. I felt them gather around me. Six hands rested on my back in hopes to calm me down. But I had completely lost control, something I tried to never do. It was like…I can't even describe it. I was completely gone for that moment.

Now my cheeks were stained with tears, and my eyes watery and red. Lucky for my mask though. I felt metallic hands pick me up and then toss me on an equally metallic shoulder. I opened my eyes, and I could barely make out the blue mechanic thing that was on Cyborg's shoulders. I bet they thought I had totally flipped out. And I had. No doubt about that.

As I was silently crying, the noises continued buzzing in my head. Through it I could hear Raven and Beast Boy whispering. They were behind Cyborg so I could make out their forms when I opened my eyes a smidgen. Raven, actually looked…worried. Only a little. I think she was trying to hold it back. She was looking at Beast Boy for support, comfort most likely. And he gratefully gave it to her, by putting his arm around her shoulder.

Beast Boy and Raven. You'd think the fact that they fight all the time would be a bad thing. No, I think I always knew they liked each other. I don't think they even know it themselves. Opposites attract, and those two are as opposite as day and night. Raven, the dark loner who enjoys reading and has fewer emotions than a fungus. And Beast Boy, the comic relief, always cracking jokes, playing video games and eating tofu. What could be more perfect than those two together? Well…I won't answer that.

I think I might have fallen asleep on the way up to the hospital wing in Titans Tower. The last thing I remember was going up in the elevator, tossed over Cyborg's shoulder. I was starring at the molding I remember and the voices were getting a little quieter. I was thinking how the green molding matched Starfire's eyes. I also remembered Raven say to Beast Boy, "He must really care for her…" while she rested her head on his shoulder.

I had a dream while I was asleep, and surprisingly Starfire was not in it. But it didn't make any sense. First I was falling through darkness, screaming for help. I don't remember why I was falling, but I remember looking down and falling. However when I screamed, it wasn't my voice. It…was someone else's. Someone I knew well. I landed face first in a pile of snow outside Titans Tower. I shivered a bit and pondered about what was going on. As I looked around I could tell I was still in the City, but snow completely covered the landscape now. I turned around to have a look at Titan's Tower. But it was in ruins, the glass shattered, dirty. I felt myself rise from the ground involuntarily, like I was flying. I was flying! I soared through one of the broken windows that had lead to the main room. The room where we watched movies, cooked meals and countless other activities. Now it was dark and empty. Except for four things in the shadows. As I stepped out I could see what they were. I saw the Titans. But…they weren't really the titans. They were different. And there were four of them. The fourth was not Starfire, it was…me. And then I saw a broken clock that was still ticking. And then my mind flashed to a zoo, and run down building and a…cave. Everything appeared to be moving so fast. It was just too hard to describe. Something about the whole dream was off. I remember I was yelling, yelling because I couldn't comprehend what was going on. I was trapped in a dream.

I woke up in a cold sweat as I sat up in my bed, panting slightly. I put my hand to my head trying to remember what had just happened but my mind drew a blank. I let out a soft groan as glanced around at my surroundings. I was in the hospital wing of Titans Tower. I was in one of those stretcher things with the white sheets. To my left was a turquoise curtain pulled back so I could view the rest of the room. I could see Raven and Beast Boy asleep on the same chair across from the stretcher I was in. Cyborg was not present at the moment thought. He apparently had to get back to his room to recharge his battery or something of that nature. As I observed my surroundings I also noticed large screens filled with charts and numbers to my left on the wall. Probably about me.

I sighed as I leaned up against the soft white pillow and tried to recall what happened the night before. I realized that if I continued doing this I'd go crazy and end up in a mental home. I had to stay strong. For my team. They needed me. If I lost it what would the Teen Titans be?

It wasn't long before I heard footsteps outside the room. The door swung open and I saw Cyborg come in, and he had a green blanket with him. I'm pretty sure it was Beast Boy's blanket by its tattered condition. Cyborg acknowledged my being awake, with a smile and a wave.

"Oh good, you're up. I wondering if maybe you had left us man," he said walking over to the sleeping forms of Raven and Beast Boy. He gently laid the green blanket over the two. Beast Boy stirred slightly and let out a snore, which sounded like a grunt, which made Cyborg chuckle to himself. Beast Boy pulled the blanket close to him, completely pulling it off Raven, which in turn made Raven snuggle closer to him. I smiled softly at the two. This was such a Kodak moment.

"Yeah," I said, in response to Cyborg. I raised my hand to my head, for the remnants of my headache. "About that, uh…sorry. I just – well I'm sorry." I said hanging my head as I starred at the white sheets. I could hear Cyborg walk over to the screens and I guessed that he was analyzing them. After a moment or two of checking them he turned to me.

"Hey man, it's cool. I know…I know you and Star – well I know you two are very close," he said jotting down some of the results from the charts down. I could tell he wanted to say something else, but he was obviously avoiding it, whatever it was. I sighed to myself quietly.

"What time is it anyway?" I said searching around for a clock. After all, crime wouldn't stop because I had a little episode. I could tell it was early, it was still rather dark outside, but I had a feel it would getting lighter soon, very soon.

"It's about, oh 4:30 in the morning," Cyborg said checking the built in clock on his right arm. "You've been out for a good five hours man," he put his little chart down on the table and sat in the chair next to Beast Boy and Raven, who were both soundly sleeping.

"Cyborg…what happened? I don't remember all of it," I said, remembering the vague part I could. Cyborg heaved a sigh as his look turned solemn. Was he mad at me? Did I hurt someone? I scratched the top of my head in frustration.

"Well, I think you remember getting home, and we confronted you in the garage. Well, after that you grabbed your head and started groaning, real loud. I guess you were havin' a pretty nasty headache huh?" he began. I nodded my head in response to his question. "Yeah, thought so. So Raven said we had to go and get you to the hospital wing. So you know I picked you up and carried you into the elevator. Raven and BB were behind me you know, and they were worried. Trust me, I've never seen Raven worried. Anyway, by then I think you had passed out from exhaustion. So we brought you to the hospital wing and you in this here bed," he said tapping on the steel frame of the stretcher I was in. "So me and Rae began hooking you up to some machines, so we could test your heart rate and all that stuff. Beast Boy was sitting in the chair, I think he got a pretty bad scare, you know? Anyway, everything began to settle down, so I told Raven she could go take a rest. She was reluctant, probably worried you were unstable, but she agreed and she went over to talk to BB. They were talkin' quietly, while I was going over test results. And then you started to flip out again." He finished, avoiding my gaze.

"What? What happened then?" I said sitting up right. "What did I do? Did I hurt anyone?" I said eagerly, in hopes the answer was no. Cyborg gave a half smile.

"Calm down Robin, it wasn't that bad. I think you were just havin' a bad dream, you know. You started waving your arms around, yelling nonsense words out in your sleep, you know, that kinda stuff. As soon as you did Raven got up and she insisted on helping me with the testing. After that, and you calmed down, she still wouldn't go to sleep like I told her. But she listened to BB, of course! So about and an hour ago those two fell asleep and I've been here since checkin' up on you. You think you'll be ok man?" I shifted my gaze to outside the window.

"Yeah," I said, still starring. "I…just need time you know? Like, I know I've gotta be strong for you guys and I will. I just need time to cope with this. It's like – she just disappeared. And it's not like she's dead so I know she might come back, but I have no way of knowing when or if she will. I just want to know for certain that I'll see her again. But I don't know…I won't know until she comes back. What if she travels with Warp one-hundred years into the future, and by then we're all – dead. She'll think we all abandoned her or – " I sighed to myself in frustration. I heard Cyborg rise from his chair and walk over to me. His big metal hand clapped me on the back.

"Yeah I know. I know how you feel about Star. Try to get some rest ok?" he said to me, in hopes that I'd feel better. And I guess I did slightly. He said he knew how I felt about Star. But I don't really think he did. How could anyone know what I feel for Star? Maybe he had a vague idea, and wasn't completely oblivious to all emotions as some of the other Titans were…however, he hardly knew.

But Cyborg was showing compassion, and I figured he was trying. I mean Star was his friend too and he hadn't gone in all crazy last night so I guess I shouldn't be complaining. I smiled a little and nodded my head and uttered a quiet "uh huh," to him. He straightened up his metal body and said, "All right, you get some sleep now, ya hear?" and walked out of the hospital room.

I turned over on my side away from the window and rested my head against the soft white pillow. I tried to get Starfire out of my mind for the time being, so I could rest, but my head refused to allow that. Every time I closed my masked eyes (Yes, thankfully Cyborg had left my mask on) images of Starfire blossomed in my head. I kept remembering the last time I saw her. The last few things I said to her. The times I had spent with her, all came bubbling back to the surface.

"Star, Star, Star…" I said softly to myself. "Why did you leave me like this? Why did you leave us?" I whispered into my pillow. "I'll be strong for you, I promise. Just please…come back someday. And I'll be there for you…" with that I felt a surge of sleepiness fall on top of my like a wave and shortly after sleep claimed me.

I slept peacefully, I don't recall having any dreams. All I remember was drifting off into a nice peaceful sleep. My nice peaceful sleep, however was interrupted by someone shaking me back and forth calling out my name. I let out a yawn, stretched my arms and turned onto my stomach. Slowly I opened my eyes, and rubbed them a little underneath the mask.

Beast Boy was standing over me, huge smile plastered across his face and he was holding a breakfast tray in front of him.

"Mornin' dude!" he said cheerfully. "Glad you're finally up! Do you know what time it is?" he said eyeing his own watch. Before I had a chance to answer and say, "Actually no," he said, "11:30! Can you believe you actually woke up after me for once?" He started laughing. Beast Boy was indeed a late sleeper. I cocked an eyebrow at him, but he kept on laughing. I sat up in the stretcher, and glared at him a moment or two before he caught on.

"Heh heh," he said, his laughter dying down. "Anyway! I made you breakfast. Mmm! Tofu waffles and soy milk! Yummy! Don't forget the orange slice!" he said holding a piece of orange up to me. I shivered at the thought of Beast Boy's tofu waffles. Luckily, I saw Raven in corner, her arms crossed and as she rolled her eyes at the green boy.

"Don't worry Robin," she said moving from her spot in the corner of the room. "Cyborg is making breakfast also. He has _real_ eggs and sausage and _actual _waffles. Just give him a minute," which made me laugh slightly. Beast Boy turned around and glared at her.

"What is that suppose to mean? _Don't Worry Robin. _There's nothing wrong with tofu waffles!" he insisted, resting the breakfast tray on my night table and shifting his angry eyes to Raven. I could see Raven roll her eyes once more, even under her blue hood. I laughed at the way those two argued with each other, just like a married couple. Hah…Raven and Beast Boy's wedding…now that would be something to see.

As I laughed to myself quietly, I heard Cyborg's clanking metal feet tapping against the ground and approaching the hospital wing. I sat up straighter in anticipation for my breakfast. I saw him walk in the hospital door, a large silver tray in his hands. I could clearly smell the freshly cooked sausage and eggs. And boy…they smelled good!

"Hey there Robin! You're up. I hope ya'll like waffles, eggs and sausage," he said upon spotting me. He walked over to me and put the tray down on top of my legs, which were still under the white bed sheets. "Eat up!" he said smiling. I wasted no time. I immediately grabbed hold of my silver fork and knife and dug into the breakfast Cyborg had made me.

I felt Beast Boy's glare upon me about rejecting his breakfast, but at the moment I had been too busy eating the sausages Cyborg had made to notice. After being ignored for several moments, Beast Boy removed his tray and sat over in corner as he ate the breakfast he had made. I bet anything Cyborg gave him a look that suggested, "Hah – he likes my breakfast better!" I heard an annoyed grunt emit from Beast Boy as he continued to eat his tofu waffles.

By the time I had finished my breakfast it was already 12:10 in the afternoon. I realized we had to get to work, and go about saving the city from countless villains. I lifted the tray off my legs and put them on the table at the side of my bed, and then I began pushing the sheets off. But as soon as I did, Raven, Beast Boy and Cyborg jumped up and looked at me.

"Oh no you don't," Cyborg said, his clipboard with my test results in his hands. He had previously been starring at the monitors, but upon seeing me get out of the stretcher came running over. I could see Raven nod her head in agreement. Beast Boy was now leaning against my night table, and inspecting his fingernails as he also nodded his head.

"Now you lay down, you need to build up your strength. Plus I still got a few more tests to run," he said holding us the clipboard. He pushed me back on the stretcher and put the sheets back on top of me. I grimaced at him a moment, before pulling the bed sheets off again.

"I'm fine, Cyborg. We need to get back to work now," I said stubbornly, while pushing myself off the stretcher. Cyborg folded his metal arms across his chest.

"You ain't goin' nowhere, little man. You just sit your butt back down on this stretcher until I tell you it's time for you to leave ok?" I opened my mouth to retort, however before I could get a word out the warning bell began to sound, and the red light began to flash in the hospital wing. I looked at Cyborg, and cocked an eyebrow which suggested, "you guys can't do it alone." After all, we had already lost one Titan, it would do absolutely no good to lose another one. I heard Cyborg let out an exasperated sigh, but he nodded his head.

"As soon as we get home you're lyin' down, ya hear?" he said to me as we began filing out the door. I nodded in agreement, and rushed towards the main room to check the monitors about what was going on.

We hurried into the main room upon hearing the alert. I hastily pushed the button with my still gloved hands to open the doors. It opened with a loud "swish" and I jogged forward into the room. It was just as we had left it before the battle with Warp. We began to approach the main screen when I noticed something on the floor. The beads – from Starfire's tinebulas (sp?). She had been so upset upon hearing us fighting that she accidentally dropped them, causing them to break apart and the beads spread all over the floor. The presents she had gotten us for Blorthog were still lying uselessly on the floor as well. I saw Beast Boy walk by and kick one of the beads by accident. He looked down and inspected the object he had just kicked. Upon looking at it, I saw a frown come to his face. He picked the bead up and twirled it around in his hand checking out his reflection in the surface. He sighed to himself and let his hand drop to his side.

"I suppose we should - get rid of these?" he said looking at us. I could sense I slight bit of depression in his voice. Not that I could blame him. However, I didn't think we should get rid of the beads. In fact I wanted to leave them the way they were…so I could remember the last time Starfire was in Titans Tower.

"No!" I said immediately, as I strode over to Beast Boy, who was still holding the bead in his green palm. I grabbed his wrist, which made his hand open slightly and I snatched the bead away from him. His expression turned cold.

"Dude!" he exclaimed in annoyance. "What are you doing?" he said inspecting what I was doing. I tried to remember where the bead was. When I found the approximate location I put the bead in its original place. Then I stood up and turned away from the group.

"I don't want to move the beads…" I said quietly before lowering my head. I could hear movement as Cyborg and Raven made their way over to Beast Boy, and they most likely all had questioning looks upon their faces.

"Robin," came Raven's emotionless voice. "These beads are a hazard, someone could trip on them, why do you want to leave them here?" I furrowed my eyebrows trying to restrain the anger I was feeling at the moment.

"Raven," I said, clearly irritated. "I don't think you quite understand my situation fully. Those beads, are the last things I have to remember Starfire. The last thing any of us have. Getting rid of them would be – I just couldn't watch you throw away the last part of Star I have. Just…leave the beads…please." My tone turned soft at the end. I couldn't help remembering the last time I had seen her.

Flashback 

She came in the room, the brightest smile in all the world upon her face. She was carrying brightly colored packages in her hands, and she just radiated happiness. "HAPPY BLORTHOG!" she exclaimed happily, peering over the mountainous pile of gifts. When no one answered she opened her beautiful green eyes to view the scene around her. All could escape her was a confused "huh?"

_Since Beast Boy and Cyborg had gotten up they had been playing video games. They both insisted playing F-Zero 'til their minds were mush. Out of irritation I put some of my favorite music on so I wouldn't have to listen to the two yell and scream every time one scored higher than the other. Beast Boy would do his little victory dance, shaking his butt and morphing into several different animals whenever he beat Cyborg's score. Cyborg would chant, "Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!" every time he knocked off Beast Boy's score. Frankly I was sick and tired of it. I didn't even bother putting my head phones on, because I knew they were too absorbed in their stupid game to care. _

_Raven was sitting on the black circular couch reading another dark novel. She apparently tuned out Cyborg and Beast Boy. Lucky her. I turned around occasionally, just to make sure they weren't killing each other. The last time I checked before Star came in they were arguing who's turn it was. Apparently one of them "forgot" that he just had a turn and it boiled over into one huge argument. _

"_Come on Beast Boy! Gimme that thing!" As Starfire entered the room with her presents, she could easily see the two boys pulling on the game control. They continually pulled it back and forth while at the same time were trying to convince the other to drop it. _

"_Dude! I'm in the middle of a game Cyborg!" Beast Boy said as he pulled the controller his way._

"_Yeah, MY GAME, cause it's MY TURN!" Cyborg said pulling it back. I could see Starfire with my peripheral vision. She simply starred at us a moment in shock and confusion. She entered the room, the smile across her face again as she approached us. Cyborg and Beast Boy were still bickering as she crossed the room._

"_Gimme that controller!"_

"_NO! LET GO!" _

"_IT-IS-MY-TURN!" Beast Boy said as Starfire made her way towards the center of the room._

"_We must frolic and leap in joyous celebration, for today is Blorthog! The Tamarian Festival of Friendship!" Her lovely smile faded as she heard a crash coming from the game Cyborg was currently playing. She frowned slightly at them as she dropped the packages on the floor. Apparently on her planet, no one would be arguing like this. _

"_Joyous Greetings friend!" Starfire said, as she approached Cyborg trying to put her smile back on. Her hopes appeared to be dwindling though and her smile seemed to grown smaller every time. "I, Starfire give you this tinebula in a symbol of - "she was cut off. Beast Boy had gotten aggravated that Cyborg had the game controller. He shifted his form into a green octopus and with one of his tentacles grabbed Cyborg away from the remote._

"_YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT YOU LITTLE GRASS STAIN!" Cyborg said as he was pulled away from his game. Starfire watched in shock as Cyborg went flying across the room and crashed into the wall. Once again, a frown graced her lips. But only for a moment. Beast Boy came hopping back as a frog. When she saw him, her smile flickered up once more. Beast Boy changed back into his human form as he began playing Cyborg's game. _

"_Many blessings friend! May your ears be filled with sugar candies and - " Again she was cut off by Cyborg yelling nastily, "BEAST BOY!" in extreme anger. Beast Boy turned his head and shouted back at him, "Look I'll give you back the controller as soon as **Raven** gives me back my NAIL CLIPPERS!" Beast Boy and Starfire glanced at Raven, just before Cyborg snatched Beast Boy away from the controllers. _

_Indeed, as Raven was reading her book, Beast Boy's nail clippers were floating beside her. "Not gonna happen," she said looking up from her book. "How else am I suppose to keep your toe nail clippings off the coffee table?" Starfire then approached Raven, smile on her face again._

"_Happiness and delight to you friend! On this wondrous day I wish you sunshine and bunnies -" Raven must have given her a menacing look, because Starfire backed up and laughed nervously. She turned around to approach me, however I heard Raven's voice first._

"_Robin," she said, looking up from the stale yellow pages in her book. "Could the music be a little louder? I can still hear myself think," she said irritably. I had my arms folded and I began to boil up with anger. As Star was about to speak to me when I shouted, "I ONLY TURN THE MUSIC UP SO LOUD TO **DROWN OUT ALL THE YELLING**!" _

_After that it became one big mess. Cyborg and Beast Boy were chasing each other for control of the joystick. Cyborg had Beast Boy in a headlock, the controller raised high above his head, chanting "Who's turn is it now tough guy? Who's turn is it now?" and I yelled at them, "CUT IT OUT! I CAN'T WORK WITH YOU TWO ACTING LIKE IDIOTS!" and Raven had to butt in by saying, "Great Robin, **more** yelling will definitely stop **all** the yelling." Beast Bot turned into a bear and began chasing Cyborg, but in a matter of time he was too tired to chase any longer. There was screaming and shouting and in the midst of it Starfire's necklaces shattered and the beads were sent sprawling all over the floor. Tears welled up in her eyes and she began shaking with rage. _

"_**STOP!!!!!!**" she screamed. At the sound of her voice all activity halted and we starred at Starfire, who now looked like she was about to cry. Her head was hung as she starred at her hands. _

"_Friends must never behave this way…And especially not on Blorthog! Do you wish to invite the Rekmas?" she said starring at us, fresh tears forming in her green eyes. We were starring at her strangely at the sound of her Tamarian terms of which we had never heard._

"_Gesundheit?" Beast Boy said in confusion. Starfire turned her back to us. "On my world," she began. "Rekmas means 'The drifting'. The point at which close friends begin to drift apart…and their friendship begins to die." _

"_Oh come on Star," Cyborg said, waving his hand in dismissal of the thought. "Yeah, we are so not rek – whatevering." Beast Boy continued. "We're getting on each other's nerves a little," Raven added._

"_Yeah," I said. "This is just typical room mate stuff. We're not gonna drift apart Star, I promise. We'll all be friends forever."_

"_Forever?" _

End Flashback 

My thoughts were interrupted by Raven's voice. "Robin, don't be ridiculous. You do not need a bunch of silly beads to remind you of Starfire," she said narrowing her eyes at me and her hands on her hips. I tried to restrain my anger by clenching my fists. I felt my face heat up in aggression.

"They are NOT silly beads!!" I shouted at her, which made Raven, Beast Boy and Cyborg back away from me. "They represent Star, everything she IS! Was…They are a part of her good kind soul and the happiness she brings into all of our lives unlike you do! You're too busy being miserable to help anyone!" Raven narrowed her eyes at me.

"What are you saying Robin?" she growled. "IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED I NEED TO CONTROL MY EMOTIONS AND YOU ARE NOT HELPING!" She screamed the top of her lungs, her normally blue eyes glowing red and black beams of light (er – can light be black?) shooting from her cloak. She began rising from her normal height to threes times as tall. Beast Boy and Cyborg tried to get control of her, yelling for her to calm down. Raven took a deep breath and began shrinking down to normal size. She took long deep breathes in order to maintain control and then shot a menacing glare at me.

I was now backed up against the wall, breathing heavily myself. I dusted myself off as I pushed off against the wall and stood up straight.

"Come on, we have a criminal to stop," I said making my way to main screen, not looking back at any of them. I punched my fist into my hand in frustration, trying to get a grip. I was Robin. The leader of the Teen Titans. I needed to be in control, and for that I had to have control. I couldn't let my temper get the best of me. Starfire would not have wanted that.

My team reluctantly followed my lead and analyzed the screen silently. My masked eyes scanned over it a few times. On the south east end of the city a couple of burglars were robbing some local stores. I was relieved it was nothing Slade related, because with a Titan missing we had a huge weak spot. Any attack by super villains would put us in a rut. After marking the coordinates down in my head mentally I turned around and headed towards the door.

"Titans…go," I said my voice quiet and unlike it usually was. Cyborg, Raven and Beast Boy appeared to be in no hurry. They sauntered over, all looking down at the floor. Titans Tower was already a dull place without Star. I had a bad feeling it wasn't going away any time soon either.

Author's Note: This story will alternate point of views every chapter. The next one will be Raven's I think And once again the flashback has the exact language of the episode. I've been doing my research :D . Anyway I'd really like to say thank you to everyone who reviewed: **Sabi, vhansonstar, waterangel17 and lostnfuzed.** Thanks so much guys. I appreciate your reviews so much :D. Hope you liked the chapter!


	3. Fallen Star: Explosive Emotions

Chapter One: Fallen Star

Part II: Explosive Emotions (Raven's Point of View)

I am never scared. That is a fact. When I saw Robin burst into tears over Starfire what I was feeling was not fear for him. I did not fear for his life because I do not fear. And Robin was not about to die from crying. And don't you dare tell me people die from broken hearts. Because they don't. Emotions come from the brain not the heart. The heart pumps blood. That is its purpose. No one can die because they're depressed. That does not happen.

I knew right away, as soon as Starfire disappeared through the vortex, we were going to have a problem. With Robin. He began running around looking for her, even though he knew it was completely pointless. After all Starfire was well into the future by now and time is an alternate dimension. I figured Robin was delusional. After all he practically worshipped the ground Starfire walked on. Robin could be very annoying with his obsessions including the whole Slade hunt. And Starfire was even worse. "Robin, are you wishing to ping the pong?" "Robin, would you perhaps enjoy a game of wrestling of the arms?" The whole thing with those two made me sick. Their little ring of emotions…uggh.

On the ride home, after our miserable defeat I rode in Cyborg's car. I did not say a word though, I simply starred out the window pondering a poem in my head as we passed buildings and countless other things.

_Blood red, midnight black _

_Cruel fate, tumbling back_

_Spirits everywhere consume_

_Bring the fall, bring man's doom_

I was having trouble concentrating on my poem by the lack of noise. Often times I had to tune out the endless annoyances of Cyborg and Beast Boy fighting, Starfire leaping for joy every time she watched a documentary and Robin blasting his pounding music. And now it was just quiet, too quiet for me to focus really, unless I wanted to meditate, but at the moment I was belted into the T-Car, so I doubted I could get into the right position. Right now Cyborg was concentrating on the road, however at the moment he looked distant. Deep in thought. Something I didn't know he was capable of. I bet anything he was thinking of Starfire. Sure, it was a bad thing that happened to Star but there was nothing we could do about it. Wishing was a waste of energy. They could not sit there and wallow thinking about poor Starfire.

An annoyed sigh escaped my lips as I glanced up at the full moon that was now set in the sky. My eyes searched the skies for as I tried writing another stanza to my dark poem. I closed my eyes to think. I waited a few moments, my patience running thin and then I growled in irritation. I turned my head around to see Beast Boy, because he had not responded to my annoyed grunt like Cyborg had with a weirded-out expression. He was not cracking jokes as he usually was. His expression was hard and cold, similar to the one I often wear. He was starring down at his green fingers and he too appeared to be concentrating on a certain thought.

I recall when our battle with Warp ended and we had finally got outside, I stepped into the car awaiting to leave. Beast Boy was dragging his feet towards the car. I starred at him a moment when he pulled the car door open and lifted his foot to get in. Beast Boy usually flew home with Starfire. I assumed he felt some…unbridled joy of flying as Starfire had said once. But today he was going to ride in Cyborg's car. Why? Did he no longer feel the _unbridled joy_ of flight just because Starfire disappeared?

"What are you doing?" I said irritably. Every time Beast Boy got in the car with us he'd be telling us stupid jokes and it was all I could do from flinging him through the windshield. He looked up at me, as if he'd just seen me. He averted his eyes and starred at the ground.

"I'm too tired," he said lamely as he continued to climb in the back seat. "To fly," he finished sadly. I starred at him momentarily, pondering endless possibilities for his strange behavior. Top of the list: he missed Starfire. I turned back around in my seat and folded my arms as we waited for Cyborg.

Enough of reminiscing. It is absolutely pointless to explain about the past. For the moment I was starring out Cyborg's window. Robin was on his bike, starring ahead, trying hard to concentrate on the road. Every now and then I'd see him look back as if searching for something – make that someone and then turn his head back in disappointment. No doubt what he was looking for. Obviously he kept hoping somehow Starfire would magically fly up behind him and hug the living daylights out of him while she said, "Robin! I am so eager to be seeing you again! I am hoping you did not miss me too much!" But that wasn't going to happen. Who knows where Starfire was now? For all we know she could be a hundred years in the future starring at our tombstones crying her eyes out. She may have found her 'dearest' Robin had married someone. She may have found else or that Beast Boy married some young blond who betrayed and killed him. She could have found out that Cyborg fell apart and his spare parts were being used to make garbage trucks. Or even that I, in a fit of rage destroyed half the city. Or any number of things for that matter. The point is where she was she was the only one who could get herself back home. We could do nothing.

The ride home took much longer then usual. Was it the tension in the air? Or was it a physically longer trip? On the way there it didn't seem to take so long…perhaps it was the lack of human emotions that made this car-ride never-ending. In normal circumstances I would take this as a blessing. But something didn't seem right about taking joy after loosing my friend. But I know Star, she wouldn't want us all to cry over her. She'd want us to be happy, like she always is.

When we finally pulled into the Titans garage it was somewhat of a relief to me. All I wanted to do now was run up to my room, grab some dark novels and sad poems and read them until I fell asleep. As I was shutting the door to the car my eyes fell on Robin's back. He was leaning on his motorcycle, completely silent. He was in deep thought, but I could see when his body tensed that he knew I – well we had been watching him. Beast Boy and Cyborg had gotten out too, and they looked at his with solemn expressions. They knew, that as the leader Robin had to be strong and he was the one who had to get a grip.

Robin grunted upon meeting our glares and turned away from us. He began making his way towards the elevator. Wordlessly we jumped into action and blocked his exit to the elevators. He stopped and looked at us stunned. Cyborg was the first to speak.

"Man, Robin we know you're havin' issues. But stop getting angry at us! We all miss Starfire, but there's nothin' we can do about it so chill!" he said, taking a step forward to make Robin get the point. The stunned look turned to anger again, an he took an advancing step towards Cyborg.

"You don't understand. I'm upset because – because you guys don't even seem to care, it's like…I dunno. It's like you don't even care about her. Why am I the only one feeling like this?" he clapped his hand to his head as though he was having a headache.

"Robin, dude are you feelin' ok?" Beast Boy approached him, sensing that something was going awry in Robin's mind. Robin didn't answers just held his head tightly with both hands as though it were spinning in circles. He fell to floor and cried and cried. And I felt something, inside me – but it wasn't pity. Perhaps – sympathy for Robin? I couldn't put my finger on it, but seeing a friend of mine like this was really beginning to hurt on the inside. Like a new emotion had come into my being – I guess it'll wear a turquoise cape eh?

Before I knew it Robin screamed "Stop!" Cyborg and Beast Boy glanced at me, in hopes of calming him down. I began to approach his bent over form as I motioned for them to follow me. I put my hands on his back, and Cyborg and Beast Boy followed the same suit. He continued weeping there on the garage floor, until we were smart enough to realize we should take Robin to the hospital wing. Cyborg, being the strongest of us, picked up the weeping Robin and threw him over his shoulder. I looked at Robin wordlessly, the emotion building in my chest. I tried to suppress it – but being part human my subconscious mind. I gulped as Beast Boy and I followed Cyborg into the elevator.

"Of all the ones to go crazy, I always though Robin was the least likely," Beast boy whispered to me. I looked at him and nodded. "Me being the most likely?" I questioned. Beast Boy looked at me, startled, like perhaps I was going to blow him up if he said yes.

"No!" he began, "Not at all, I just meant – " but I cut him off. "I probably am." I said looking into his deep green eyes for the first time. "I keep my emotions stored away so I can fight 'evil' if you will. However, that isn't healthy. One day I just may explode." I said looking at him for one more moment, and then starring at my blue shoes. For the first time I think I felt – embarrassed?

"Oh Raven," he began. I jumped a little when I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders. "I don't think you're crazy at all." And I couldn't help but smile. Never in my life had I felt the way I did then, I was glad I was alone with Beast Boy. I was a little afraid though. If I let these emotions get the better of me I just may blow something up. As we were reaching the hospital level, my head on instinct rested against Beast Boy's shoulder. He looked at me surprised – probably thinking – "Raven – is close to me – and not killing me for it?" but all I did was smile, which made him relax. I starred at Robin's hanging form over the back of Cyborg. And seeing him in such disarray made me say, "He must really care for her." Beast Boy looked at me a moment, but silently nodded his head.

When we finally got to the hospital wing, Robin was completely asleep. As we entered the solid white room, Cyborg gently laid Robin's limp form down on one of the steel stretches that were covered in white sheets. I approached Robin, and looked carefully at his face. He had been crying, I could tell because the strong lights on the ceiling were shining on the remainder of his tears. I don't think I had ever seen Robin like this. I mean he got pretty bad after that Slade incident – and even his Red X charade, nothing compared to this. I don't think I ever realized how much the cared – no how much he was in love with Starfire.

And I knew plainly Starfire felt the same way. She showed it much better than Robin did. Of all my experiences with her, I could tell. She never flat out said it – but she had hinted at it at certain times. Once she said, "Raven? May I ask you a question? Supposing I am feeling differently about one of my friends then I do towards my other friends? Is this normal?" I answered, "It depends on which friend," not looking up from a book of poetry I had recently discovered. I glanced at her when she didn't answer. I saw her bite her lip nervously – and search the room in case someone was there. "It is friend Robin…" she whispered, looking slightly ashamed. I think I may have almost smiled at her. "Yes Star," I said, "that is perfectly normal."

Another time she said, "Today is a most glorious today for so many things have happened! I convinced friends Cyborg and Beast Boy to watch 'The World of Fungus' with me. It was glorious, all though I do believe they were doing the 'grossed out'. And then I enjoyed an old Tameranian desert call Fingmoo Gelatin! It is most delightful Raven! And after that Robin and I talked of the splendors of – what he called um…mates of the soul yes? And it was even more enjoyable then – " I cut her off before she finished. "You talked about soul mates? You and Robin? How did that come about?" She scratched her head reluctant to say. "Well I had been watching the 'TV' and a marvelous show called – uh – "The Restless Young?" she inquired in confusion.

"You mean – 'the Young and Restless' Star? You were watching a soap opera?" I asked raising an eyebrow in intrigue.

"Oh yes! The Opera of Soap was most wondrous!" She exclaimed happily. "And in the show one man stated to one woman she was his – mate of the soul. I was then in search of someone who could tell me the meaning of the mate of souls and when I did not find a single person to explain your earthly culture to me – I wished to relax on the roof – which is my most favorite of all the Earthly places. And Robin had also wished to be there for that is where I found him – and I asked him "Robin – what is the mate of souls?"

"What did he say?" I asked growing more curious about the story. "I believe he said – that the mate of one's soul is the only being that can ever make one complete."

"And you said?"

"I said – Robin whenever I am around you I feel very complete. Does that mean you are my mate of the soul."

"And?" I said in surprise, that Star would flat out ask if she was Robin's soul mate. Then again – I don't think she really understood the meaning and plainly Robin did. Did she realize that more often than not soul mates are deeply in love?

"He said that no – it was most likely another feeling – such as friendship. And I tried to tell him Robin – I do not feel this way about my other friends – but he would not let me finish."

Countless other times Star would talk about Robin – how well he faired in battle or how kind he had been to her that day. I think for a long time I've known they were in love. If only they'd open their eyes and see it for themselves they'd both be a thousand times happier.

As I starred at Robin, I thought of all the things Starfire had said about him. I sighed to myself – considering my very emotional state. I knew I should be keeping my emotions under control, but it was getting increasingly difficult. My hands moved towards his face and my fingertips touched the corners of his mask. I figured it might be uncomfortable having his mask on while he was sleeping. I considered the fact that I had never actually seen Robin's eyes and I began to lift the edges up.

"Stop!" I quickly jumped back and let the mask remain on Robin's face at the sound of Cyborg's voice. I turned around and saw him walk through the door, white sheets in his hand. He marched over in my direction, and when he reached me he looked at Robin. "He wouldn't want you to take it off." He said quietly. I nodded understandingly. "C'mon now, let's start up the machines so we can find out if he's all right," he said leaving the extra sheets to hang over the stretched, as he walked over and started switching on the machines. I followed his suit and busied my self by turning on the machines in the Hospital Wing, they measure for blood pressure, diseases, cholesterol and all possible things that could be wrong with a person. While they began started up, I took a clipboard so I could record all of Robin's result and put them in his record. In Titans Tower we all had a medical history and we kept all our records in a filing cabinet by the door.

Beast Boy sauntered into the room, looking dejected as he dragged his feet against the white tiled floor. He slumped into a nearby chair and propped his head up with one hand. I looked sympathetically at him and move closer to him to offer comfort. It didn't last long though, Cyborg called over to me tell me he needed help hooking Robin up to the machines. I strode away from Beast Boy, but mid way to Cyborg I turned around to look at him. He was starring at me with dark forest eyes – saying something, but what I couldn't tell. I gave him a small smile before turning back and helping Cyborg with his work.

Hooking Robin up to the machines was no picnic. We had to place those small disk like structures all over him, and through our efforts he was constantly moving and struggling, most likely having a nightmare. As we were finishing up with attaching the wires to his skin, we heard him groan. It sounded incomprehensible at first, but he repeated it and I could tell he had said, "Star". I exchanged pained looks with Cyborg. I knew he was thinking the same thing as I, "He even dreams of her…"

After that Cyborg and I left him, and studied the screens adorning the Hospital Wing. I began writing down his results including percentages, numbers and I included my own analysis of the data. Meanwhile Cyborg was checking the remaining screens writing his own notes about them.

_Heart rate appears to be normal, however on occasion jumps up due to the possibility of nightmare/disturbing visions. Most likely due to recent events that is putting stress on his frontal lobe which triggers all sorts of nightly visions. Possible remedies may include meditation, relaxing, reading etc. No sorts of physical activities should be engaged until further notice, _I jotted upon looking at his heart rate.

During my note taking of Robin's heart rate, I felt my eyes wander over to Beast Boy. The poor guy, he was sitting in the chair all by himself his face in his hands. I took a step towards him but then bit my lip and look back at the screens. I knew I couldn't go comfort him now I had work to do. But then I looked back at him…and I felt like I had to do something, which is so very uncharacteristic of me. I felt Cyborg approach me and and rest his large metallic hand on my shoulder.

"Go on now," he said pushing me forward a little. "I can take care of this." I looked back at his, questioning look in my eyes. "Are you sure?" I said, not wanting to hoist all the work onto Cyborg's shoulders. "I don't have to if you need – " he cut me off.

"BB needs you more right now," he said looking at his depressed form. I nodded, and thanked him silently with my eyes. I then started over towards Beast Boy. I don't think he heard me approach him because he did not acknowledge my presence. "Beast Boy?" I said quietly. He jumped from his position and looked up at me surprised.

"Hey Raven," he said, he said turning away from me. Was he too proud to accept comfort from me? That wasn't like him. "Beast Boy," I repeated. "May I – sit down?" I said looking away, hoping he wouldn't say no. He starred at the floor moment, and then at me. "Yeah," he said shifting over in his chair. "Of course," he said as I began lowering myself into the space he had provided. I then spoke.

"Beast Boy, I know you're worried and I'm worried too – " I began. "About Robin," but as I said 'about Robin' he said 'about Starfire'. I looked at him in confusion and he looked at me the same way. Could he possibly have feelings for Starfire too? Great two titans were head over heels for her. After all she was prettier then me and more friendly. But did I have nothing to offer? I shook my head. Love is silly, I told myself. I was being silly. After all the times I told the others I had to restrain my emotions – I wasn't doing it. I had to maintain control of them right this minute.

"So what?" Beast Boy said, breaking my chain of thoughts. "You – you have a thing for Robin?" I looked up at him in astonishment. He thought I had feelings for Robin! And I thought he had feelings for Starfire. I had jumped to an assumption with little to no evidence. The basis of my argument was on two words. I felt rather ridiculous. But surely, he had thought similar, so was it really outlandish for me to be thinking that? "No!" I said immediately, "I thought you were – " I began trying to think of the phrase I was looking for. "uh - sweet on Starfire." I rolled my eyes. I must have heard that from Cyborg. His expression now matched my expression. "What? Are you crazy? Robin likes Star! I could never – no way!"

"Well," I said in my defense. "Starfire has feelings for Robin and I would never do that to her!"

"Well 'scuse me Raven!" he said. "it's just you said how worried you were about Robin – " "Yeah!" I interrupted. "And you said you were worried about Starfire!" Beast Boy opened his mouth to retort. "Yeah I guess I did say that – but really, I don't feel that way about Starfire. She's a great friend and all – but I could never think of her like that."

"Yeah," I agreed, "Same with Robin and me." Beast Boys eyes came up to meet my own and he searched my eyes for some trace of perhaps insincerity? But surely he must know I could never have feelings for Robin. After all he was my teammate – like my brother. Two people as close in personality as us could never have a successful relationship. What Robin needed was a balance to his serious dark persona. He needed someone who was constantly happy and optimistic to level Robin's serious look on life. That's why he and Starfire turned out to be perfect for each other. And then I considered Beast Boy probably couldn't love Starfire for the same reason I couldn't love Robin. He needed balance too. Starfire was far too happy and smiling all the time for Beast Boy. He needed a serious person to make his life steady and equal. Perhaps someone…like me?

As thoughts brewed in my head, I turned away from Beast Boy. I had a feeling he knew what I was thinking, even though I couldn't think of how he could manage that. He must have sensed my uneasiness because he placed a hand on my shoulder. "Raven?" he asked, speaking softly. I bit my lip but I didn't turn around. "What?" I asked trying not to let any emotion slip into my voice. "Tell me what you're thinking," he said. I turned around to meet his gaze, somewhat shocked at what he said. _Tell him what I'm thinking! Tell him I'm thinking that we could possibly ever be right for each other. _I sighed to myself.

"I'm thinking about the Titans. I'm thinking about Robin and Starfire. How this will effect Robin? Is Starfire alive? Will she ever come back? Can we possibly hope to defeat villains with one titan gone? I'm thinking about Cyborg too. Will he act any differently? Is it possible with Starfire gone that this whole place could become a beacon of pain and suffrage. And I'm thinking about….us…" I finished, dropping my eyes to my hands. He said nothing for a moment, but I sensed he was studying me. "What about us?"

I inhaled deeply, trying to calm the emotions that were running wildly about my brain. "Nothing," I said, as I exhaled. His grip on my shoulder tightened. "No," he said. "Tell me." I closed my eyes and tried to explain my thoughts. "I'm thinking why Robin and Starfire are so right for each other. Its because they balance each other out. He's serious and she's playful, together they make a perfect balance. And I was just thinking that we…" I trailed off, not wanting to continue any further. However he persisted. "We what?"

"We may have a similar balance," I said in one breath, feeling stupid as I said it. I turned to meet his eyes. They were starring at me, wide with disbelief. I'm assuming he never thought it possible that we could be together. But truthfully, neither had I. But we couldn't, we were Titans. We had no time for frivolous things such as crushed. That just wasn't done. I put a hand to my head to calm myself. Beast Boy opened his mouth to say something but all of a sudden the lights in the hospital wing all went out and pieces from the exploded light bulbs flew into the air. I knew this had been my fault. I quickly got to my feet and walked towards the exit. Feeling embarrassed like never before. My hands were buried in my face and I didn't even hear Cyborg's startled sound when we were plunged into darkness. I didn't hear Beast Boy call my name either as I was heading out the door. When I finally heard him call my name, after who know how many times I was in the doorframe. I stopped momentarily and leaned up against it trying to recall what I had just done.

My halt had given Beast Boy a chance to catch up with me. He caught my shoulder and I gasped sharply. "Let go," I said stubbornly, shrugging off his hand. "Please," I said, feeling my voice crack. Tears were welling up in my throat and I was completely unable to control my emotions. Everything was going to come out. Remorse for Robin, remorse for Starfire, the complexity between Beast Boy and me, and everything else I had stored away and bottled up. I let it go completely. Tear poured out of my eyes and around me I heard things crashing but I could stop. I felt someone's arms wrap around me and my sobs turned into sharp ragged breaths. I began calming down. When I opened my eyes it was still dark and I could hear no noise. I craned my neck to see that Beast Boy was holding onto me, his face buried into my back. Had I scared him?

Upon hearing the silence around us he slowly lifted his head up and I sensed he was looking around for some source of light. I then felt his gaze fall upon me. He reached out for my hand, and it was amazing how easily he was able to find it in the dark. He began to rise and he lifted me to my feet. As I rose to my feet I heard Cyborg's voice break the silence. "Yo, I'm gonna go find some spare light bulbs now, ya'll. Don't move," I could hear his metal shoes tap against the floor as he approached it. Suddenly a blinding light came out of nowhere that forced me to recoil from it. It had been a light from Cyborg that was conveniently located on his shoulder and he had just switched it on to find his way towards some light bulbs.

After my eyes slowly adjusted to the newfound light I looked up at Cyborg. He was grinning slyly at us. He was getting that look, that look he often gave Robin and Starfire. I quickly observed my close proximity to Beast Boy and I jumped aside. Cyborg chuckled and then proceeded out the door while saying, "Yeah whatever, Raven."

We were then plunged into darkness again, watching Cyborg's retreating form. I was breathing hard for several reasons. I realized that this sudden outburst was so unlike me and that I really couldn't do that again. I had to get a grip. Losing a titan was bad but reacting like this would not help the situation.

"Raven," Beast Boy's startled me slightly seeing as I nearly jumped a few feet into the air. "What?" I said trying to regain my normal emotionless stature that I had lost moments before. I heard him inhale. "Listen, you didn't give me a chance to talk. So I want to tell you what I'm thinking." He paused a moment, to collect his thoughts. "I want to tell you that its ok…Robin will be ok, I'm sure Starfire is ok, Cyborg is ok and we'll be ok. You'll be ok. It's…all right to cry Raven, its something I've wanted to do all night but wasn't man enough to do so. And I think it was harder for someone like you who…doesn't much care for emotions to let that sadness out. And that was…ok. When you're feeling upset let it out. Talk to me, because if you don't you may end up hurting someone. And remember I'll always be there."

He stopped there and let me sit (or rather stand) in silence for a moment. I didn't quite know what to say. His voice sounded so different, so mature? It was like he was a completely different person when he was serious. It was like he had aged right there in front of me though nothing physical could be noticed.

Before I said anything he said, "And I think you're right Raven." All though he could not see, I looked at him with curious eyes. "About what?" I replied. "About balance…Robin and Starfire have it. And just maybe we could too."

Before I could reflect on his words I could hear Cyborg's feet rhythmically clanking against the floor and his light caught the corner of my eye. As he approached us he shouted, "Hey guys! Found the bulbs! All ready to put some light back in our lives." As he entered the Hospital Wing I could see under his light that his arms were full of light bulb boxes. He stopped in the center of the room and placed the boxes on the floor.

"Yo BB! I need some help over here." Beast Boy hastily walked to his side in order to aid him. I leaned up against the wall in order sort my thoughts out. Had Beast Boy just…said that we could possibly – I could have sworn I was dreaming. Normally I would have easily helped Cyborg with the lights being that I could easily lift the bulbs to their sockets with my powers. I was skeptic about using them since I had just let them run wild. I decided to just let the boys be boys. I sunk to floor and watched them fumble with the light bulbs.

It appeared that Beast Boy needed a step ladder in order to reach the ceiling lights, so Cyborg send him to work on the table lamps, things he could actually reach. As he was screwing in a bulb he must have sensed my uneasiness. He called to me, and said he wanted to talk. I shrugged and said I'd rather not get up, I was a bit exhausted. He then stopped his work on the lights and came over to me and sat down.

"Yo Rae, it's all right. I know how you're feeling right now. About Robin and Star. And if it were me, I'd be blowin' stuff up too. Don't worry, I'm sure everything's fine. And if it's not, then its no big deal. I'm sure I can repair anythin' that was broken. I'm the master of machines," he said with a chuckle. I smiled lightly, appreciative of sympathy. Which was odd, I had not often accepted that sort of thing. But right now, it was something that I needed.

"Thanks," I said. "Now get finished with those lights." With that, he got up and returned to his work.

After Cyborg had gotten new bulbs for the lights I stood up and observed the damage. Not too bad. A few stretchers had flown across the room and they made a few indentations on the walls. Sheets were spread across the floor haplessly. The filing cabinet had been tipped over and files poured all over the floor. Luckily Robin's stretched had only been pushed over slightly and almost all the machines were still functioning. However, like Cyborg had said, he was a master at machines and would have them fixed in no time.

The three of us began cleaning up the mess I had made. Cyborg went back to work on the machines and Beast Boy and I were picking up and straightening the pieces of furniture that had fallen over. It didn't take to long for Beast boy and I straightening the chairs and stretchers. The hard part was organizing the files that had scattered across the floor. Beast Boy didn't even know how to arrange them, so I sent him on his way to do some odd jobs. When he had finished he slumped in the chair he had occupied previously, that is before my little…outburst. My ordeal with the files had taken about an hour and forty-five minutes. Cyborg had finished a little early to help me with them. When we were finished it was about 2:15 in the morning. I sighed, rising from my sitting position on the floor and made my way towards the chair. Beast Boy automatically shoved over a little to give me some room. He could probably see the need for sleep in my eyes.

As I descended into the chair, I could feel Cyborg's and Beast Boy's eyes upon me. I had the feeling they were going to give me that, "It's ok to be upset sometimes," speech. Before they could I interrupted them. I rose to my feet and took a long glance at both of them.

"Listen," I began, taking in a deep breath. "I know what you guys are going to say. You will tell me that it's ok to feel bad sometimes, that it happens to everyone. Well I am not everyone. It is not ok for me. I appreciate your concern, however my emotions are very dangerous. If I hadn't gotten a grip when I had, I might have severely hurt Robin, or either of you. And speaking of Robin, I'd rather you not tell him about this. He'll think it was his fault that I blew up in an emotional rampage. But it wasn't, it was mine…"

**Author's Note: **This chapter was going to be a lot longer but I decided to split it into two separate parts, which means the next chapter will be Raven's point of view again. Besides I kind of liked the way it ended. Anyway A couple of thanks are in order yes?

**Amy**: I'm really glad you liked it. Robin was hard to write, but at least you think it came out decent. Thanks for the review.

**bOb the bUilder':** Hah, nice name there. Thanks for the amusing review.

**x.StArFiRe.x:** Well I guess great minds think alike.


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